you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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