I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
