hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
