I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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