A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
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