We tried having a conversation with our noses.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
