if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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