god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
