i don't plan on having that self control this summer
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
