Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
