Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
