don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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