her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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