Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
Randomize
