don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
