In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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