atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
