haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
