Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
