Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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