Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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