closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
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