Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
