Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
