just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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