either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Randomize
