not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
