About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
