Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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