She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
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