I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
