Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
