dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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