I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
When are your genitals available?
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
