I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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