you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
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