with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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