You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
