Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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