I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
