Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize