We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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