No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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