I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
