On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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