we need to drink 2009 down the drain
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize