He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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