Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
