kristin has been a bad kristin
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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