Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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