I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
