so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
