Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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