And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
