You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
