His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize